To Be Fair
by Fist-it-Out
Summary: Zed takes his son on a Valentine's Day shopping trip.
1. Valentine's Day

"Where are we going?"

"I told you yesterday."

"To be fair, you say a lot of things in one day."

Zed rolled his eyes at his son. "Valentine's Day is coming soon."

"What does that have to do with me?"

"You love people, right? Like your mom, you sister, anyone?"

"Yeah."

"This is when you show it," Zed explained. "You're fourteen, so now you get to come and join me as I spend all my money on people I love."

"Okay."

Zed glanced at his son, noticing his discomfort. "Everything alright?"

"I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yes Dad."

"You'd tell me if something were wrong, right Zander?"

Zander nodded, then he put in his earbuds, ending the conversation.

Zed sighed and turned his attention back to driving. In all honesty, he had taken Zander out to figure out what was up with him. Both Zed and Addison had noticed something off about their son. He was being shifty and isolating himself, and just not acting like his usual, vibrant self.

The first stop was at the flower store. Zed frequented the store and just had to introduce his son to the store owner. "I kinda thought you fabricated the whole story of your wife and kids," Malcolm said with a teasing smile.

Zed rolled his eyes and leaned on the counter. "This is my boy, Zander," he introduced. "Z, this is Malcolm. We went to high school together."

"Hi," Zander greeted in a small voice.

"Hey," Malcolm said. "What can I do for you guys?"

"Flowers for the big V-Day," Zed said. "Wife, daughter, sister, dad, four friends. The works."

"Always being extra, huh Zed?"

Zed smiled and shrugged. He then turned his attention to his son and asked, "You want anything?"

Zander shook his head. Zed nodded and put his hand on Zander's shoulder. "Then you're gonna help me pick out some flowers."

"Okay."

Zed turned his son away from the counter and toward the flower displays. "Valentine's Day isn't reserved just for romantic love," Zed explained. "Malcolm is the flower expert. He's taught me lots about flowers."

"Interesting."

"Tiger Lilies are for family love. I get them for you, Zenia, Zoey, and my dad." Zed explained. "Zenia likes colors so I do the works for her. You don't appreciate my flowers."

"I do, Dad. I like balloons better."

"Of course you do," Zed said. "Zoey also likes colors. My girls. And my dad just likes the thought."

"Okay."

Zed fought back a sigh, moving onto the display of roses. "Yellow roses are for friendship. I get them for Eliza because she hates attention. Bonzo loves the gesture. Bree also loves the gesture. Bucky is…Bucky."

"I love Uncle Bucky," Zander said with a distant smile.

"You should get him flowers too. Though we are going to other stores, so don't spend all your money in one place."

"Okay."

"Finally, the red roses. Those are for my lady."

Zander groaned. "Don't be gross, Dad."

Zed laughed and walked him to the biggest and brightest display. "I like to change it up every year with what I do for your mom. This year I'm thinking a mix of red and pink. White symbolizes innocence and that's not—"

"Dad," Zander said warningly.

Zed held his hands up in surrender. "I'm just giving you some advice. In case you have someone in mind. A special lady or something."

"Okay," Zander said.

Zed studies him for a second. "Okay?"

Zander nodded slowly. He kept his gaze trained on the flowers as he said carefully, "What if it's not…a girl?"

Even though Zander wasn't looking, Zed did his best to hold back his surprise. "Could you elaborate?"

"I…I think I'm gay?"

"Um, okay."

Zander turned his head up and looked at his dad. His eyes scanned over Zed's face worriedly. "Okay?"

Zed nodded. He did his best to keep his cool and asked, "You wanna get this guy flowers?"

Zander let out a breath and shook his head, smiling slightly. "No, I'm good."

"You sure?"

Zander nodded with a brighter smile. "Yeah, Dad."

"Okay," Zed said. "Can I ask you for a hug?"

Zander nodded and moved in to hug his dad. He was only a little shorter than Zed had been at fourteen, which meant that Zed still had a good five or so inches on his son. He felt a little overwhelmed; Zander was growing up so fast, knowing who he was and trusting Zed enough to share that with him. Zed was pretty sure that Addison didn't know (and probably wouldn't figure it out, despite how good her gaydar was).

They pulled apart and Zed went to fill out his order forms. Once they were heading back to the car, Zander finally said, "Could you not tell Mom? I know how much you and her like to compete over me and Zenia but…"

"Are you kidding? Once you tell her I'm gonna hold this over her head for as long as I possibly can. I'm gonna destroy that woman."

Zander laughed and shook his head. "Where to next? Can I drive?"

"Absolutely not," Zed stated. "Ask again in December."

"Where are we going?"

"We are going to look for a perfect Valentine's date spot. I have yet to take Addison to a location twice."

"Dear Z," Zander groaned as he climbed into the car. "Why did you make me come today?"

Zed gave him an innocent smile and started the car. "How often do I get to spend time with just you?"

"Mom put you up to this, didn't she?"

"It was a collective plan," Zed admitted. "We knew something was up with you."

"Oh joy," Zander said.

"You have any suggestions? I'm considering expanding our search radius since you're not a baby and can stay home alone."

Zander rolled his eyes. "I haven't been a baby since I was a literal baby, Dad."

"You'll always be my baby, even when you're suddenly taller than me. And when you find someone and fall in love and get married and move out. You'll always be my baby."

"I kind of hate you, Dad." Zander grumbled. "Um, how do you think Mom will react? Since she's all about perfection and-and—"

"Alexander," Zed said, cutting him off. Zander looked at him with a raised eyebrow; they never called him by his full name unless it was something serious (or he was rambling, which happened a lot). "You're worried for nothing. Addison isn't even straight."

"What? Aren't you guys married?" Zander paused for a second, then looked at his dad worriedly and said, "Unless…"

"Are you crazy?" Zed asked. "The fact that Addison and I are married doesn't change her sexuality. And if you're curious, ask her about it. But she's definitely not straight."

"Okay," Zander said. "Have you guys gone to The Lighthouse? It's by the beach, and I know how much you guys love the beach."

"Where's that?"

"Let me drive and I'll show you."

Zed chuckled and shook his head. "You're smart, I'll give you that much."

Zander laughed, then began rattling off directions to his dad.

* * *

Later that night, Zed and Addison were in bed, catching up on their time apart. They did it every night, after the kids were asleep.

"How'd it go with Zander?"

"Amazing," Zed said. "You're gonna love Valentine's Day."

Addison rolled her eyes. "First, I love everything you do for me because you're the sweetest husband in the world. Second, I want to know if he told you anything? He's being…normal Zander. But only with you. I want my baby to be himself."

"Oh, well," Zed shrugged. "It's kinda…a secret, I guess. Between me and him, for now. But I'm sure he'll tell you."

Addison crossed her arms and pouted. "This is not fair at all." she complained.

Zed kissed her forehead before laying back in bed. "You'll be fine. Just think about all the amazing things that will come on Valentine's Day."

"Like?" Addison asked with a raised eyebrow. "Flowers and chocolates and dinner at a new restaurant?"

"I'm calling in sick for you and I, so I get the whole day with my amazing wife," Zed said. "Zenia is going to the Sadie Hawkins Dance."

"Zander?"

"To be determined," Zed said. "But he's fourteen. If he doesn't have plans, he's old enough to be home alone for a few hours."

Addison sat up and gaped at him. "He most certainly cannot!"

"Eliza is next door! Plus, I'm sure he'll find something to do that night." Zed reaches over and put a hand over hers. "He's not a little kid. I stayed home alone all the time, since I was like nine. You stayed alone all the time too."

"I had garbage parents," Addison countered.

"Then hope he gets invited out. Maybe he'll get a date. Or he'll go to his school's dance. There's still two weeks until Valentine's Day."

"I'm not letting Zander stay home alone," Addison stated definitively.

"Then hope for the best, because this plan is awesome and I'm not giving up on it." Zed gave her a kiss then got comfortable in bed. "Come cuddle me. I'm so tired."

He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close. "Goodnight honey," Addison muttered.

"G'night babe."

* * *

It was a few days before Valentine's Day. The Necrodopolus family had been sitting, watching a movie when one of their phones buzzed on the couch cushion. Zed and Addison were snuggling in the love seat and glanced over as Zander lifted up his phone.

Addison noticed his nervous expression and paused the movie. Before she could ask anything, Zander looked up and said, "I have a date for Thursday."

"Aw!" Addison gushed.

"Who is it?" Zenia asked.

Zander glanced at his dad, who shrugged. "Freddie Jenkins."

Zed grinned and turned his attention to Addison. A slow smile spread across her face as she kept her attention focused on her son. "He asked you out?" Addison asked.

"Um, I asked him out," Zander explained. "At school today. He said he had to check with his parents. And now we're making plans."

"Okay."

"Okay?" Zander asked with a raised eyebrow. Addison nodded and Zander added, "Mom, I'm gay."

"Okay," Addison said with a nod. "You guys wanna finish the movie?"

Zander looked at Zenia. "I-I guess?" she responded.

Addison hit play and leaned back against her husband. She turned her head to look at him and asked, "You knew this whole time, didn't you?"

Zed shrugged and smiled. "Father son bonding at its finest."

"I hate you."

Zed kissed the side of her face. "I love you too, honey."

* * *

Instead of going straight to bed, Zenia detoured toward her brother's room. The door was already cracked open so she took it as her invitation in. Zander was laying in his bed with the sound of some action movie coming from his phone. He glanced at the door when he heard it open and paused as his sister approached.

"Hey," she greeted, sitting on his bed.

"Hello," Zander said. "Weren't you just complaining about a test tomorrow?"

"I wanted to talk to you before I went to sleep," she explained. "We all kind of just brushed over the fact that you're gay. I didn't even get to talk."

"Oh." There was a pause before Zander asked, "What do you want to say?"

"I'm upset," Zenia started. Zander tensed but she ignored him. "I'm upset because you're cute and now I have more competition with guys. Like damn, Zander. Thanks a lot."

He let out a laugh, first out of relief then actual joy. "You've got two years on me," he told her. "I think you'll be fine."

"This is totally not fair, but whatever. I'll just have to be even more amazing and cute."

"I'm still cuter."

Zenia rolled her eyes with a smile. "What were you watching?"

"It's this old movie from when people thought the world would end in 2012."

"People were stupid in 2012."

"The movie came out in 2009," Zander pointed out. "You wanna watch with?"

Zenia nodded and laid down on his bed. They watched the movie for the next twenty minutes, until Zed popped his head. "Go to sleep, so I can go to sleep," he told them. "Lets go, up and out."

Zenia rolled off the bed and left, heading to her room. Zed looked back at Zander and asked, "You good, Bud?"

"Yeah Dad," he said. "Is Mom okay?"

"She's pouty but that's nothing a little bit of sex can't fix."

Zander groaned and covered his head with a pillow. "That's gross, Dad. I don't wanna know that."

Zed chuckled and flicked the light switch off. "Sleep tight, Bud."

"G'night Dad."

* * *

Zed had taken his son's idea and amped it up by a hundred. It was about an hour away to Marblehead, Massachusetts, where they'd take a boat to an island off the coast. Rarely anyone knew about it so it was nice and secluded, and had a beautiful resort that would (hopefully) remind her of their honeymoon seventeen years before.

Zed dropped the kids off at school and double checked with Eliza to make sure she would pick them up and keep an eye on them and the house while they were gone.

He went back and kept Addison in the living room while he packed an emergency bag. He stuffed his belongings in the car, then went to retrieve his wife.

"Where are we going that we needed the whole day?" Addison asked.

"That, my dear wife, is a surprise," he told her. "Sit tight and play with the radio while I woo you, like always."

"I kind of hate surprises."

"You love surprises. They're what I do best."

"That's definitely not what you do best," Addison said. "I can list a lot of things you do better than surprise me. The only surprise I truly ever loved was your proposal because you caught me very off guard."

Zed smiled warmly. "My surprises are awesome. When we were young and went on dates. Those were always a surprise."

Addison scoffed. "You aren't even forty."

"I was younger then," Zed stated. "We were in high school. Oh the good ole days."

Addison chuckled and let her arms drop from their folded position. "That feels like ages ago. Damn."

"Might I say how you've only gotten more beautiful with age."

Addison blushed a little. "I'm sorry sir but I'm happily married. Have been for seventeen years."

Zed laughed a little. "Hey, check this out," he said, then switched the stereo from radio to a CD player.

"Your car has a CD player?" Addison asked in an amused tone.

"Hush and listen." He hit the skip button twice, then turned on the volume.

He took a few seconds to watch her face as she recognized the music and the melody. Addison smiled slowly. "No way," she said with a grin. "No fucking way."

"Yes way," Zed said with a grin. "And watch your mouth. We've still got the Disney fund."

"We went to Disney once," Addison said. "How did you get this on a CD?"

"Zach had a few copies. I asked him for one." Zed explained. He gave her a look at sang, "_A girl and a Zombie_."

"_Oh tell me more boy, sounds like a fantasy._"

"_Oh what could go so wrong with a girl and a Zombie_?" they sang together.

They laughed and shook their heads, letting the song continue. "Does our date have something to do with Seabrook?" Addison asked.

"No ma'am. I wouldn't tell you if it did though."

Addison pouted and leaned back into her seat. "How far is it?"

"An hour and change."

Addison snorted. "Okay grandpa."

An hour later, Zed parked at the docks. "We're going on a boat?" Addison asked. Zed shook his head and smiled. He grabbed their bags and led the way to the small boat.

"We are going on a boat you liar!"

"Hush and enjoy the ride," Zed told her. "It's fifteen minutes until we reach the island."

Addison gasped. "We're going to an island?"

Zed zippered his mouth shut and threw away the fake key. They met their captain and climbed into the boat, getting situated in the back to get a nice ocean view.

"Would you mind if I set some rules for our day?" Zed asked.

"Not at all."

"We don't have kids," Zed stated automatically. "Never had kids. Don't plan on having kids. Let's just pretend those two monsters don't exist."

Addison chuckled and nodded. "Okay. As if I didn't spend a total of eighteen months cooking them and sixteen years raising them."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Zed said with a lazy smile. "We're just two married, thirty-something year olds celebrating Valentine's Day. On an island because we don't have kids."

"Oh? An island I see?"

"Yep."

"What will we do on this island?"

"I'm finally gonna tie you down and eat your brains. It's been my master plan for almost twenty-five years."

Addison rolled her eyes. "I fucking hate you."

"You're at two for the Disney jar."

"I will push you off of this boat."

Zed laughed and slung his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his side. "I love you so much. You're gonna love this."

"I love spending time with you my dear husband. Just you, because we don't have two teenage kids."

"That we do not."

It didn't take much longer for them to reach the island. Once they got off, Zed grabbed their bags and made the short trek from the docks to the little resort.

"This looks oddly familiar."

"Just you wait," Zed said with a grin.

He checked in then took her hand, walking with her to their one day vacation villa. Zed gouged her expression, one of complete wonder and awe and pure happiness.

"This is like our honeymoon!" she gasped. "Except with real windows and walls and doors! How did you—?"

"Zander inspired me," Zed admitted. "Come inside."

"This is amazing as is. What could be better?"

"An actual second honeymoon in…three years. I think."

Addison looked at him, her mouth open wide. She took a second to find the words before she said, "How did I ever get so lucky as to find you?"

Zed set down their bags and pulled her in, wrapping his arms around her waist. He gave her a deep kiss; Addison wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him deeper.

She pulled back just enough so she could ask, "Would you care to carry me inside?"

Zed couldn't help but smirk. Addison gave a little hop and wrapped her legs around his waist. She giggled a little as he carried her into the villa. Zed laid her down on the bed and Addison got a good look at the rose-petal covered room.

"I love you so much," she said with a smile, then pulled him down for another kiss.

"Happy Valentine's Day my love," Zed murmured against her lips.


	2. After Valentine's Day

**Part 2! Wooo! It's short but hey, I like it! Enjoy!**

* * *

Zed and Addison got home after midnight. They immediately went to the kitchen and Addison climbed up onto a stool to break out the emergency wine.

"Wait!" Zed whispered loudly. "One of us had to make sure the kids are alive."

"I'm going! Last time I let you alone with one of them, you got to find out he was gay. Which was so unfair!"

Zed chuckled as Addison climbed down from her stool. She climbed the stairs quickly and first peaked into Zenia's room. The lights were off but the slight light coming in from her window was enough to show Addison's daughter asleep in her bed.

She moved to Zander's room. To her surprise, light was peeking out from under the door. She eased it open and stepped inside, finding him asleep at his desk, his laptop still on. Addison rolled her eyes and gave his shoulder a gentle shake.

He whined a little as he stirred awake. "Get in your bed, Zander," she whispered.

"Mom?"

"Yeah it's me. Off to bed, you shouldn't be up this late on a school night you know."

"I have an essay due tomorrow," he murmured. He sat up and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"Finish in the morning, you need your sleep."

"Mm, okay. How was your date?"

"We can talk to tomorrow," Addison said. She kissed the top of his head, then ruffled his hair. "Goodnight Bud."

"G'night Mom."

Addison stood in the doorway and made sure he actually moved from his chair to his bed, then flicked off the lights and headed back downstairs.

Zed was pouring two glasses of wine when she arrived and grinned at her. "The day continues," he said. He picked up the glasses and offered one to her.

"Thank you kind sir."

"A toast, to our love." They clinked their glasses and took a sip.

"Oh god," Addison moaned. "I love emergency wine."

"Me too," Zed agreed. "Bedroom? Living room? I'm fine with either."

"Even though we spent a lot of today in bed," Addison said, giving him a look, "I am pretty tired."

"I wonder why?" Zed teased.

Addison rolled her eyes and took another long sip of her wine. "I'm gonna shower. And then come back to my wine. You are welcome to join, as always."

Addison gave him a wink, then grabbed the bottle of wine and headed to the stairs. She didn't have to turn back to know that Zed was following her.

* * *

The next morning, Zed and Addison took a much needed day off (after the day off the day before). Zed only got out of bed to take Zenia and Zander to school, then went right back to cuddling his wife and sleeping through the morning.

They got up a little after eleven and made lunch plans with Eliza. They got dressed then made their way to _Darla's_ (their favorite diner).

"How was your date yesterday?" Eliza asked once they were sitting.

Addison smiled sweetly. "It was good. How were the kids?"

"The both had dates. It was infuriating." Eliza complained. "Your teenage children are getting more than me!"

Zed and Addison both laughed. "They have our genes," Zed said. "I've been getting ass since fifteen."

"I will kill you," Addison warned, faking seriousness. "Don't ever say that again. I was _not _giving you ass at fourteen."

"Who was talking about you?"

Addison punched his shoulder playfully hard and Zed laughed more. "I'm kidding. I love you."

"You'd better. I've already had two of your spawns."

"Can we get back to me?" Eliza asked. "I want love! Not your love because it's gross but love."

"Try a dating app," Addison said. "You're getting old. And you're gay. Opportunities aren't gonna be as easy as before."

"And now that Bucky's getting married, you're gonna be all alone in that house," Zed added.

"They're staying in the house," Eliza complained. "His stupid dog has grown attached to Karma and Taurus. I hate it."

"We all know you don't," Zed said. "Bucky's your best friend. After me and Bonzo, of course. You'd probably go insane without him around."

"Shut up and get me a girlfriend."

"An attractive gay lady isn't just gonna come waltzing in," Addison complained.

Their waitress came up to their table with a smile on her face. She was exactly what Addison had described: about their age with natural red hair in a braid and pale skin, freckles all over her skin. She wasn't obviously gay but Addison had a sneaky suspicion, if her lesbian earrings were any key (they were interlinked female gender signs, obviously).

"Hey. I'm Kaylee, I'll be your server today. Can I start you off with anything to drink?"

"Can I have a water?" Zed asked.

Kaylee nodded and looked at Addison. "Yes, I'll have a sprite. Eliza?" Addison replied.

Eliza looked at Addison, slightly smug and slight flustered. "Uh, a water will be fine," she told her server without looking up.

"Cool. Need a minute to pick?"

"Yes," Eliza said immediately.

"Alright." Kaylee left on that note.

"You were wrong, Addison. A cute gay girl literally walked up to us." Zed said.

"She was hella attractive," Addison said with a grin.

"Eyes on me, Wife."

Addison giggled and shook her head. "Flirt! I believe in you."

"I…I can do this."

"Yeah you can! Girl power!"

"Is this really a girl power moment?" Zed asked.

Addison turned and pointed a finger at him. "_Everything_ is girl power! Get with the program."

* * *

One of the most important rules in the Necrodopolus household was being home before four on Fridays. Zenia was very involved in her school and was at a club meeting or a sport and sometimes didn't come home until nine. Zander would hang around school until one of his parents came for him. Some days Addison had to work late.

But Fridays were family days. Depending on the week, they'd either sit around and play board games or watch movies. It was just about being together and catching up. Mandatory family time.

"Let's go for a drive," Zenia suggested when she went home. "We haven't done that in a while."

"Not everyone is short and likes being cramped in the car," Zander pointed out.

Zenia shoved her brother's shoulder, hard enough that he nearly slid out of his chair. "Don't push each other," Zed said warningly. "And a drive sounds like a great idea."

"Oh, let's go out for dinner too," Addison said. "Mostly because we didn't cook anything."

"Can we get sushi?" Zander asked.

Addison grinned. "I always knew you were my son."

"So driving and dinner?" Zed asked. They all nodded and murmured in agreement.

Ten minutes later, they were all in the car, cruising down the streets. There was music playing over the radio at a low volume so they could still talk.

"What'd you guys do for Valentine's Day yesterday?" Zenia asked.

"Your father took my to an island," Addison said with a smile. "We went swimming and built sandcastles and rode horses. And we laid around the villa for hours and ate dinner at the resort restaurant."

Zander groaned and his sister laughed. "Did you really just lay around, Mom?" Zenia teased.

"Why would you want to know?" Zander asked incredulously.

Zenia laughed and Addison just shook her head with a smile. "How were your dates? How was the dance?" Addison asked.

"The dance was lame," Zenia said. "The DJ sucked so my friends and I went to Kristi's until Aunt Eliza came to get me."

"Zander?" Addison asked. "How was your date?"

"Good," Zander shrugged. "We, um, went to mini golf. I bought tickets and he bought the food."

Addison turned in her seat to look at her son. "That's it? Nothing happened?"

"He walked me home," Zander added. "And he kissed my cheek."

"Aw!" they all gushed.

Zander blushed and slouched down in his chair. "It's not a big deal," he mumbled.

"It's your first date, of course it's a big deal," Zed stated. "How do think he felt about it?"

"He asked about being a Zombie for a bit. He was curious. He likes my hair, he said it a lot."

"Blonde and green is nice," Addison pointed out. "Your hair is so pretty. My little baby."

"Mom," Zander said warningly.

"What else happened?" Addison asked.

"Why are you pestering me and not Zenia? She had a date too!"

"First date, big deal. I said this earlier." Zed repeated. "Zenia goes on lots of dates. Sometimes without permission. That's besides the point, because this is your first date and it is very important. Sets a precedent for all your dates."

"What was your first date if they're so important?"

Zed smiled blissfully. "Addison will disagree, but it was to an ice cream store in Seabrook."

"Firstly, I was your first date?" Addison asked and Zed nodded. "Secondly, our first date was the Zombie Mash."

"It wasn't," Zed argued. "Zombie Mashes don't count as dates. Anyway, Addison's parents wouldn't let her cheer until they met the boy she had snuck out with. So being the idiotic fifteen year old I was, I decided to just mess with my Z-Band and be human for a few hours so she could cheer."

"You do realize you've told this story at least ten times?" Zenia asked.

"Zander wanted to hear about my first date."

"I assumed your first date would have been with someone who wasn't Mom."

"Mine wasn't with Zed," Addison pointed out. "Seventh grade. Erika Marcus."

"A girl?" Zenia asked.

Addison nodded. "You know your dad was the first and only man I ever had feelings for?"

"I mean I would hope," Zander said smartly.

Zenia turner and gaped at him. "You know Mom wasn't straight?"

"Dad let it slip a few weeks ago," Zander said with a shrug.

"Of course," Zenia complained. "This is so unfair! You guys go out to buy flowers and tell secrets and I get shit."

"Language." Addison said with slight boredom. "I feel you honey. We need to do a girls' night. Beat the boys out."

Zenia whooped in agreement. Zed chuckled then said, "Okay, let's take this conversation to dinner. I am starving!"


End file.
